Once again we've come upon the Holiday Season; a deeply religious time for us all when we visit our church of choice by going to the mall. "Black Friday" is the spiritual name which has been given to that Friday following Thanksgiving Day.
It is not a term of endearment.
"Black Friday" officially opens the Christmas shopping season in America (not to be confused with deer, duck, or wild boar season in Kentucky, although there is a fine line.) Just like squirrel season "Black Death Friday" usually brings massive traffic jams and over-crowded sidewalks as the downtown stores are mobbed by consumer zombies from opening to closing.
I never really got into the whole ritual of black-outs, close-outs, and black-Fridays; they sound too much like streets that have been closed down because there's asbestos in the air or a nuclear fallout zone. I just don't walk down those alleys.
So what did we do before gigantic box stores?
Where did we go before Wal-Mart-Fall-Apart?
When did we become what we said we would never become?
We used to build civilizations.
Now we build shopping malls. . .
"DANG RIGHT! Just build one on top of that 1,000 year old ancient ruin."
The following are just some of the crazy accounts that "Black Friday" has spawned already. Maybe as time rolls by they will just be considered fatal accidents that go along with the season (much like the random tree-stand accident or the accidental shooting of his cousin by Bubba on the opening day of elk hunting in Colorado.)
"Jingle bells, jingle bells, get the hell out of the way..."
Unruly devil spawn shoppers at a store outside Ohio quickly flooded in the doors at opening, pinning several employees against stacks of merchandise.
Nine shoppers in a California mall were injured, including an elderly woman who had to be taken to the hospital, when the crowd rushed to grab gift certificates that had been released from the ceiling.
A mob of approximately 2,000 insane shoppers in New York waited outside for the 5:00 a.m. opening of the local Fart-Mart. As opening time approached the crowd grew anxious and when the doors were finally unlocked the crowd pushed forward, breaking the door down, and trampling a 34 year-old employee to death. The shoppers did not appear concerned with the victim's fate, expressing refusal to halt their stampede when fellow employees attempted to intervene and help the injured employee. The shoppers complained that they had been waiting in the cold and were not willing to wait any longer. Shoppers had begun assembling as early as 9:00 the evening before for a barbecue!!!. Even when police arrived and attempted to render aid to the injured man, shoppers continued to pour in, shoving and pushing the officers as they made their way into the store. Several other people incurred minor consumer injuries, including a pregnant shopaholic woman who had to be taken to the hospital where she later birthed a ten pound baby bouncing demon shopping spawn.
During Black Friday 2010 in Wisconsin a woman was arrested outside of a Toys-R-not-Us store after cutting in line, and threatening to shoot other shoppers who tried to object.
A volunteer in Georgia was stabbed by a shoplifter.
An Indianapolis woman was arrested after causing a disturbance by arguing with other Wal-Mart shoppers. She had been asked to leave the store, but refused.
A man was arrested at a Florida Wal-Mart when other shoppers waiting in line for the store to open noticed that he was carrying a hand-gun (Colt - Peace Maker) and reported the matter to police. He was discovered to also be carrying two knives and and a grenade.
A man in Buffalo was trampled like the days of ole when doors opened at a Target (pronounced Tar Jay) store and unruly shoppers rushed in, in an episode reminiscent of the deadly 2008 Wal-Mart stampede.
HEE HAW!!
Well it sounds like Turkey hunting season in Montana to me.
Thank God we're living in a country where the Big Sky's the limit, the Big Ass stores are open late, and you can now shop in bed with your crusty shorts on.
Have we really come very far or is it the wild, wild, wild west once more!!
"KILL THEM ALL, LET GOD SORT THEM OUT!" Wild Bill Hiccup.
Have fun on the BLACK FRIDAY RUSH!
This video excerpt below is a good example of where AHH MERICAH might have got the "Notion", or the "Gumption". A good example of the phrase "trampling in our ancestor's footsteps."
MIRABAL MUSIC and MYTH
Santa Fe Opera location for the PBS nation wide filming of MIRABAL MUSIC AND MYTH. August 30 and 31st http://www.santafeopera.org/tickets/reserve.aspx?performanceNumber=6043
10 comments:
What a crazy world we can live in. Also I always wondered why it was called the "the peace maker".
OMG! That's it exactly! I remember this movie!
I might be wrong on my facts, but the church of england started it, look up the real history of christmas, its not a of worshipping the creator, its a day of worshipping how much material gain, the rich have abtained, by f--king over the poor.
Preach on, Brother Robert!!!
As I lay here after visitimg friends & family and eating more than I eat in a week I can not help but think of my younger years when it was cool to spend my hard earned cash on more trinkets than a person needed. I now think only of love, peace, health & happiness thankful that I can grow my vegetables, make my bread & pick an orange. I have all the wordly goods I need. Sons who make me proud, my horse to whisper to and my dog who is my best friend. When I am an old horse woman I will sit in my barn, wear hay as if Uit were a jewel in my hair. I will spend my money on turquoise and diamonds and red wine. My gift to mother earth is the preservation of what she offers. To hell with black Friday..get it together people. The gift of thanks is all we need. & of course a new pair of boots makes me smile. Good & meaningful words you write Robert. I liked you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Give much thanks Robert.
Amen, I refuse to be drawn into this silly and superficial Black Friday thing that retailers and our own Federal Government want us to zomie along -thank you Robert for pointing out this nonsense and greed. The best way to spend the day after Thanksgiving is to stay away from stores, take a walk, take a hike, take a break from all commercial "stuff"
Carol B
What about the crazy lady that used pepper spray to keep people from running into the store before her! Cops are still looking for her!
I didn't know what a great writer you are til I took time to check this blog out. The ironic campy tone, always standing back from the circus mocking the freak show without buying a ticket to see the bearded lady. Good work. This should be dare I say syndicated. I'm so glad I stopped by here on the way to Best Buy to see if they could beat Office Max's sale on an external drive to download my CD tracks to. I almost got sucked into the Black Hole. Saved again by Pueblo Bob's Mall Vortex Counter-Amtimatter. Onsale online TODAY ONLY!!!:)
Typo alert. ANTImatter. My eyes are too old for a blackberry. There's a sale on glasses at Sprawl-Mart. Just sayin.
A funny thing happened in NYC today. Well it depends on how you look at it. Some store downtown in Soho had all these people waiting on line for it to open at midnight. when it didn't open, they broke down the doors and stole as much as they could. !? :-0 It turned out the store never intended to open at midnight. ??? No one has been caught yet. It still makes me giggle.
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